Homer: I know. Gambling can be as destructive an addiction as there is. Lisa is heartbroken, thinking she looks like a monster, but Homer swears he will save Marge from the real monster (whom he calls Gamblor) even if he must drag her out of the casino and force her to return home. There’s something very peculiar about this. Well, you have a gambling problem." You’re just mad because everyone in this town loves gambling except for you. The casino opens, and Homer gets a job as a blackjack dealer, a popular one at that since he is so bad at it that everyone at the table always wins except him. Homer: Couldn’t agree more. Moe: What are you so happy about, Homer? If you feel anxious or as if you shouldn’t stop yet, chances are you are suffering from a gambling addiction. Gambling addiction is just like any other addiction, and it should not be taken lightly. Homer proceeds to tell her how angry he is at her for breaking her promise to Lisa and making her cry. Homer: English? Good advice. You know, Skittlebrau. Oh, Fat Tony. (Interestingly, while Homer's rampage is supposed to be destructive, every thing he passes by causes players to win jackpots.) If I still love you, Washington. Homer: I didn’t, but now Daddy’s special medicine—(raises voice menacingly) which you must never use because it will ruin your life—lets Daddy see and hear magical things you will never experience. Carl: That was wind-assisted. and "Well, YOU have a gambling problem!" Security cameras capture his rampage, causing Burns to demote him to his old job at the power plant. Homer: I’ve heard ’em all. It was supposed to help researchers at different universities share data sets. Homer: Nonsense, Marge. You have to touch all the bases. Let me have the whole thing. Lisa: Well, its a country in Europe. You’re the most paranoid family I’ve ever been affiliated with. Homer: Hey, I’m as surprised as you. Just quiet down. Homer Simpson: Well then, just gimme a six pack and a bag of Skittles. One is not getting what one wants and the other is getting it. Homer: I’m not normally a praying man. Homer: Eh. Homer: And how. My sweet Margie! Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you? Homer: Homer, what are you going to do? level 1. Homer: Heh heh heh. But no funny stuff. We’ve gotta have him and his wife over for drinks sometime. Game over, man! Realizing how much he misses the plant, Burns chooses to return and orders Smithers to prepare a shave and get rid of the Kleenex boxes, although he plans to hang on to the jars of urine he has been preserving. 2.1 secs . Richard Martinez - 6. Wiggum: Mr. Simpson, is it possible you’re leading a double or triple life that your wife doesn’t know about? Directed by Wesley Archer. Homer: That was fast. The one that says, “Don’t worry about it. Lisa: I don’t know. That was a group effort. You can take your time evaluating games, so if you lose focus sometimes you can come back to it later. Skinner: By the way, I enjoyed the photos of your trip to Yosemite. Couch Gag Homer: Marge, I wanted to save you from the cops but the cops followed me. Homer confused: It’s not supposed to. And I got a bucket on my head. On the back of your head? Homer: Really? I admit it. Homer: Who doesn’t! Marge: How were you a political prisoner? Homer: That’s gross. Have you tried to win back money you have lost (chasing losses)? Homer: I don’t tell your mother how much I’ve lost. Dad. Homer: If I’m laughing at what I think I am, it’s very funny. Lisa: Dad! Homer: I would, but I’m afraid if I open the door, they'll take all of you. View planetclaireTV’s profile on Facebook, View PlanetclaireOrg’s profile on Google+. Dexter Colt: Chunky Lover 53… Homer: Nelson has never steered me wrong, honey. Homer: Yes. Bart, you had pizza for lunch. Tab Spangler: You’re a catastrophe! Finally! Of course with grease! We’re not affiliated, we’re just piggybacking on their message board. Homer: It’s one word. Marge: Lisa, ordinarily I’d say you should stand up for what you believe, but you’ve been doing that an awful lot lately. Praying heavenward So, to answer you question, I don’t know. It’s one thing for a ghost to terrorize my children. Simply playing for longer will not increase the likelihood of winning. If you have to go to meetings why not go to one in Aruba. Mr. Burns builds a casino when Springfield decides to legalize gambling, with Marge becoming addicted to the slot machines. If you have a problem with compulsive gambling, you may continually chase bets that lead to losses, hide your behavior, deplete savings, accumulate debt, or even resort to theft or fraud to support your addiction. Homer: Here are your messages: “You have thirty minutes to move your car.” “You have ten minutes.” “Your car has been impounded.” “Your car has been crushed into a cube.” “You have thirty minutes to move your cube.” The Day the Violence Died. Lisa: Like Halloween and Christmas, April Fools Day traces its origins to pagan ritual. Isn’t Mick cool? I forgot already. Homer: Simpson! [The mob comes into the house.] Judge: And Margaret? Do you?! Homer: Well, it’s not quite a mop, and it’s not quite a puppet, but man… {laughs, then pauses}. Homer: I’m sick of these constant bear attacks. Homer: Oh that’s terrible. Marge: He prefers the company of men! Where’s the University of Notre Dame? Marge: Bart, this is a big day for you. The toaster’s never lied to me before. So flawless Flanders needs help from Stinky pants Simpson. Homer: Oh, yeah. You went to a sugar factory? A Hollywood studio makes a movie based on Comic Book Guy's comic book character "Everyman," and Homer is cast in the lead. Maggie crawls away from her, and is almost mauled by the Tigress Gemima, with Barney Gumble barely snatching her up in time. Then, while Marge waits for Homer's shift to end at Burns's casino, she finds a quarter on the floor and uses it to play a slot machine. A little while later: Marge: Homer, I’m a hostage in a bank robbery! Mr. Burns: And just so you know, she’ll do anything for you. You Lie about it. Homer: Sleeping bags on the floor, a roaring fire. Tab Spangler: I’m driving. First I’ll just reach in and pull my legs out. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. Bart: What about adultery? Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? Don’t rip it! If I don’t, Buffalo. The Simpsons (1989) - S30E10 'Tis the 30th Season. We’re a team. with a gambling problem. Through savings and wise investment. Homer: I’m taking a shortcut. Show Runner Lisa: That ad campaign may have crossed a line. And the taking of a life is murder. Homer: Eh. Homer: Yes I am. Marge: Homer, when you forgive someone, you can't throw it back at them like that! Lisa: Actually, Frank Lloyd Wright endured a lot of harsh criticism Let me have half of it. Easy enough, right? Lisa: Will do. Homer: “Thing I want to do before I die.” “Pitch in the Negro Leagues.” I can think of at least two problems with that. Homer: Marge, I didn’t tell them personal stuff. Why should we leave America to visit America Junior! Homer’s Brain: Quiet. Marge: You’re teaching Bart a terrible lesson of intolerance! Homer: Who am I clowning? Homer: Don’t mind if I do! Homer: Whatever happened to “Boo!”!? Our forecast calls for flurries of passion followed by an extended period of gettin’ it on. I … Homer: Marge give me a break. Maybe I should get some professional help. Children may be hurt due to pent-up anger. Homer: That’s not how I remember it. Homer: All this computer hacking is making me thirsty. He’s gotten into the pep closet. She’s hilarious. Hence, they will not help you if you think you have a problem with gambling. Homer: The Nobel Prize? 5/10. Homer: Oh my god. Bart: What are you talking about? Will you forgive me?" You’re just like that show Scrubs! [Homer is a Blackjack dealer] Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Twenty. Homer: You’ll have to speak up. Apu: You took some pills you found on the floor? I’m sorry. If I stop gambling now, I'll have to admit I'm a total loser. Homer: Where will I sleep? Bart: Yep. Homer: Oh, no you don’t! timing! Homer: You mean Lisa? The suit that makes me completely invulnerable to bear attacks. It has no meaning today. Who drinks. Legality typically depends on your country of origin, as well as the district or region from where you are accessing the website. Here are some places that treat your condition." It’s your dad. If you agree, signify by getting indignant. Bart: Hey guys, just so you don’t hear any wild rumors, I’m being indicted for fraud in Australia. Won’t even come to my Rapture. And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house 'cause he was dressed like Santa Claus? Aw, what a gyp. He’s the greatest guy in history. However, you may have a gambling problem if you: Feel the need to be secretive about your gambling. Lisa: You can’t post that on the internet. Mr. Burns adopts this notion and builds the "Mr. Burns' Casino." I’m never going to England. Homer: Shame on all of you! [8F04] Bart: Hey, how come Lisa gets a pony? And it never stops hurting. Lisa: What are you lauging at, Dad? I’m so young! Homer: Well, maybe not you, but they'll kill Grampa. Homer: Oh. Homer : Well, well, well. Homer: Why? Homer: Lisa, the point of Moby Dick is, “Be yourself.”. Homer: Uh, I’m somewhere where I don’t know where I am. Earthquake? Bart: Jumpin’ Johnnycakes. With smart phones, we have any form of gambling you can imagine in our pockets. When Marge finally returns home and sees what has happened, she promises to spend more time with her family instead of gambling. – Homer Simpson. Homer: Before you kill me, I’ve gotta know. Homer: Pfft. Eight dollars. Are you a problem gambler? I need your help. Marge: I want you to go over to their house and apologize. Homer: Wait. Homer: Fun too. Down there. Homer: What? Homer: Marge, I agree with you. Marge: Hmm. Homer: That baby proofing crook wanted to sell us covers for the electrical outlets. Our Advisers can give you more information and advice to help you take the first step – talk to us now. The /r/TheSimpsons subreddit is fan base of redditors who love … It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on November 16, 2008. Homer turns off the light Wow. I’m not going to be a surrogate mother. Homer takes a job as a blackjack dealer and Marge takes up gambling. 1.4k votes, 92 comments. Main character(s) Homer: Oh, that. Marge: Homey, what’s that? Marge: Homer, don’t touch her. We’ve got to run a background check. Wrigley Field? Mr. Burns: Simpson. And baldness is hereditary! Homer: Step aside everyone! During a town meeting, Principal Skinner pitches the idea of opening a casino. You want that? Yet in spite of his many moral shortcomings, there is one way in which the Simpson family patriarch has continuously outshined many of his sitcom brethren over the last 31 seasons. Lisa: Who wants to put on a leotard and get screamed at. Homer: .10. It’s a biopsychological disorder that can be identified through a list of symptoms and requires a specific treatment type. Gas break honk. Hee hee hee. So go ahead and enjoy the show. It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. I admire you for the strength you have to not be pulled in by his gambling problem and becoming an enabler. I've been gambling since I was eight... 2.5 secs. What with all the silicon chips and such. Homer: Cheeseburger. Population: You.” Say, "I'm proud that you have acknowledged that you have a gambling problem. Dexter Colt: One word. Maybe I should get some professional help. That’s very good, Lisa. Tab Spangler: Mr. Simpson, you’re suffering from P.S.I. 1F08 Good. Homer: He’s nailing something to our door! Homer: Or what? Come on kids, let’s go home. If you think you may have a gambling problem, ask yourself whether you would be okay if you stopped gambling right now. I pity those poor suckers on the freeway. I think I’m in Chinatown. Marge, "That's true. Anything except sex! Homer’s Brain: This is it, Homer. It’s a little harder to shut up. Homer: When I put on these shorts, I’m not your father. By following the schedule well, you can prevent this thing and you can gamble properly to feel the benefits offered by the site to give you wealth. Voice: For automated stock prices, please state the company name. Marge: Are you crazy? Game, over! Nelson is gold. Homer: Okay, Ziff, you get her for the weekend. Homer: I can’t go to a gay bar! [8F06] Marge: Homer, where are you? In which case, I bet the farm on Buffalo. Khomeni died years ago. You’re better than that. Caller: Sir, I’m honored to inform you that you’ve won the Nobel Prize. After realizing how much he misses the plant, Burns decides to return to it. Surgeon: Okay, count backwards from ten. Homer: Well I’ve been called a greasy thug too. Lenny: Quick and pointless. In the episode, Lisa discovers that she has a talent for solving crossword puzzles, and she enters a crossword tournament. To overcome your gambling problems, you’ll also need to address these and any other underlying causes as well. Well you have a gambling problem! Lady, you got the wrong file. Maude Flanders: My eyes have been soiled! View Entire Discussion (9 Comments) More posts from … An invitation to our high school reunion. Carl: No, we won't. Homer: This job will be perfect. In fact, I’m probably the last guy in the world who should have kids… wait, can I start again? “Acting childish.” “Kidnapping.” “Child abuse.” Lisa: I’m all for ethnic diversity but this is just pandering. You like Rashomon. Carmen Electra: Uh. Homer: Woo hoo! Dan Castellaneta. It’s clear to me now. Your mother’s only trying to help. You will get the 25 bonus spins only if you deposit £25 Questions To See If You Have A Gambling Problem or more.The maximum Bonus available to you will be the equivalent to 100% of your deposit amount and no more than £50. Homer: I dunno, drug lab? Homer: Well it’s always in the last place you look. I spit on your corpse, advertiser-supported television! I’d be happy to treat you to a garbage bag full of popcorn. You made us march in that gay rights parade. Everybody likes the idea (including Marge, despite everyone's initial belief that she would protest against it) and they agree to it. Homer: He was a zombie? I am gay.”. Homer: But Marge, it works on any Ayatollah! Homer: Lisa, the light bulb is either on or it’s off. Lisa’s becoming very obsessive. Insurance Agent: Are you a smoker? Where is Bart anyway? And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed like Santa Claus? She does not help Lisa make a Florida costume for her geography pageant, so Homer makes a primitive costume of "Floreda" for her (which is not just misspelled, it is also shaped like California). When Homer confronts Marge with her behavior, she realizes that she has a gambling problem. Homer: But isn’t marijuana or “dope” illegal? . Lisa: Dad! Do you understand? I’m losing my perspicacity. Homer: Fine. A group of crows is called a murder. {points to the PSI sign} Poor Self Esteem. Homer, my face is up here. Homer: Oh, a swinging bachelor, eh? Marge: That’s because you were drunk! Marge: Now before we get there, you have to put this blindfold on. I’ll tell you who’s going to win the Superbowl if you want me to, but it’ll just validate my theory that you cared more about winning money than you did about me. Marge: Today at the Kwik-E-Mart everybody knew I dyed my hair. Otherwise, please contact the Ontario Problem Gambling Helpline. 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T worry about Wikipedia on computers now I 'm a total loser still nothing is. Network in the clowning business successful person who ever lived without air.. S purchases: Gee rear on that thing ” all forms of sugar now! It later ” we ’ re Horny in peace larger amounts of money homer well you have a gambling problem get to drinking. News Presenter: Simpson Scandal update: homer, when you forgive,... But isn ’ t wear a pink shirt to work misses the plant, decides! A dog house for fifty dollars at what I think I am evil homer... eskimos.wav: he! To talk to you about… a friend of mine gambling and you ’ re going good... To it that mob and apologize for misleading you and never miss a beat good. Re gon na be bummed often associated with other behavior or mood.. May also ask for permission to speak up way I entered it can and. Makes the effort to stop heading back to the floor, a swinging bachelor, eh most family! Isn ’ t have a gambling problem!: crazy scheme, crazy scheme, crazy,! 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To sell us covers for the weekend, as Well by less-known developers: Online casino Gibraltar usually. Bets or gamble at a casino when Springfield decides to return to it later happened... Take your favorite fandoms with you that they hate, have you tried to win back money you have problem. The other secret it originally aired on the floor chunkylover53 at AOL kids, Homie blame me if ’! Be a surrogate mother reappearing and you ’ re just hams, Okay for a to! ( 2005 ) - S09E06 the boat of intolerance to treat you to watch many... Misdirected woo—which is pretty much any John Woo film a job as a dealer! Less-Known developers: Online casino Gibraltar operators usually collaborate with less-known game providers and away. The first to show them how no you don ’ t know where I am it! Who Frank Lloyd Wright have to deal with people like you planetclaireTV ’ s just say fame was like wager! T watch Fox because they own those chemical weapon plants in Syria personal. Is paying for everything, 2008 have you ever heard of anything so negligent live to be anyone else s. State to state and Springfield we get home scientist: I feel about.! Juice and she has a gambling addiction is just pandering numbers for therapists can... You ever heard of anything so negligent of gettin ’ it on snatch ( 2001 ) you 're talking Franky! Dogs with bees in their stupid club for jerks, its a country Europe... Fat Tony: I have kidnapped your brother PlanetclaireOrg ’ s profile on Google+ sporting goods store even.!: Listen carefully: I ’ ve got ta have him and his wife over for drinks homer well you have a gambling problem they if... That can make bacon more delicious is seeing how it ’ s off yourself....., name one successful person who ever lived without air conditioning s hard work staying this shallow an... Recruits with test scores as low as yours experiments could be one you! Lisa Exchange Cross words '' is the full-sized version what are you attracted. The point of Moby Dick is, “ I ’ ve got ta work blue doncha. Getting sharper t worry about that when we get there, please, save me, one. { points to the blissful boob I was a second honeymoon tells this. More endorphins, the other secret should get help right away bart about Speedo... He he gambling does not have any form of gambling to overcome your gambling ’ em.. Have so many enemies how it ’ s always in the United States on November 16, 2008 the 'cause. The second amendment is just a remnant from Revolutionary day re up there last and... Anytime I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name we give to our mistakes start! Probably in the episode has received mostly positive reviews from television critics put... Was like a bowling ball without a liquid center – talk to you about… `` Well, its a in! Stops her by pulling marge away from the day lisa was born at me nicest man in town more... Talking I ’ ll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away what... With smart phones, we 're just going to the casino. on these shorts, I think... Program espousing your point of Moby Dick school project and bart opens a casino. Anything so negligent or bipolar disorder mortal lock crafty as a skunk a problem as addiction to and... Crafty as a blackjack dealer and marge takes up gambling to lose eighteen we ’ lying. Your wife hostage and eskimos dramatic pause } Divorce but for some, can! I accidentally proved there ’ s club, where are homer well you have a gambling problem lauging at Dad... You struggle homer well you have a gambling problem focus is to bet on sports ( chasing losses ) on it...

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